These key questions open the pathway for your child’s school success
The new school year is underway. Students, teachers, and parents have settled back into the regular routine (for the most part). It’s time to check in. Do you know how your child is doing? Do you know how you can best help your child find school success? We’ve broken this down for each level of academics – elementary, middle and high school. Ask these simple, key questions to get the answers and results you need.
FOR ALL GRADES:
When and how will I be told how my student is doing?
No matter what grade your child is in, the first thing you should know is when and how the school plans to inform you about your child’s progress. If the school doesn’t provide you with this information at the beginning, now is the time to contact your school’s point person. This liaison could be the actual classroom teacher, an academic advisor, guidance counselor, the division administrative assistant, or another designated member of the school staff. Find out who is the best contact for your child. If the first parent-teacher conference is after October, that might be a little late to catch any concerns and address them with the proper resources. If you are seeing any signs of struggle with your student right now, consider contacting the school proactively with your specific concerns.
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL:
What are the expectations for homework?
When your child is in the elementary school years, they are in the process of learning how to learn. The complexity of the material increases as they advance through the grades. The amount of homework they receive increases as well. No matter what type of student you have, you should know what the expectations are for your child’s homework:
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- How long should it take?
- What materials are necessary for my child to complete homework?
- Should I try and help if my child gets stuck?
- If your child shows any signs of distress (avoidance, fatigue, resistance, getting upset), you should communicate with your child’s teacher right away to alleviate the pressure and modify the approach.
MIDDLE SCHOOL:
How can I best support my student at home?
The middle school years can be very tricky for parents. As students move through sixth, seventh and eighth grade, they are experiencing many changes developmentally. Their reaction to these changes can be wide-ranging. At the same time, academic expectations increase in depth and complexity. Students are expected to become more independent with all aspects of their schoolwork as these grades progress. How can you contribute to your child’s school success?
Let go…
If a parent has been closely involved with their student’s schoolwork in the elementary years, it can be difficult to take that “scaffolding” away, but it is crucial for the student’s successful development. Knowing how to do that properly benefits everyone involved. The best way to approach this question may depend on the school culture. If the school is “parent-inclusive,” it will have guidelines for what parents can help with and what students should handle themselves. Make sure to keep those guidelines handy for continuing reference at home. If the school is not in the habit of communicating with parents directly and regularly, it is important to ask the school to be specific about what is preferred.
Trust the process…
Whatever the individual school’s approach, it is important to honor those guidelines. For example, if a school requests that parents not help with homework, or that parents confirm a student’s excuse for missing an assignment, then parents should align as much as possible with these policies. However, don’t go overboard and assume the school wants a lengthy parent explanation every time a student does poorly, misses an assignment, or doesn’t understand something. This is your child’s job (you already wear enough hats!). Instead, briefly confirm (or not) the excuse, then talk to your child and help them by calmly going over what happened and how they can discuss this with the teacher and move forward.
Middle school is the time for students to become their own advocates and learn how to speak up for themselves, both at school and at home. Try to find the right balance for your child and your school (and you, especially if you are anxious) in terms of supporting your student. The ultimate goal is that your child feels confident that they can do this, but has people at school and at home to help get there, as needed.
…And find a different handhold
Parent support doesn’t mean doing the homework or solving problems for your child. It means giving your child the right tools to do the work. If you understand how to accomplish the task at hand, ask your child leading questions so they can discover the answer. If your child doesn’t want your help, but you see signs of struggle, you can:
- Suggest ways your child can seek help (from specific teachers, peers, etc.)
- Contact your child’s advisor or homeroom teacher with your concerns
HIGH SCHOOL:
How will I know what is important for this year of high school?
The high school years can become a real “hands off” stretch of time in many ways. Once they adjust to the transition of ninth grade, students are pushing the boundaries of independence and self-advocacy. Schools expect students to shoulder most of the responsibility, especially as college prospects loom. It can become more difficult for parents to stay on top of important aspects of their child’s education. Uncovering any concerns can take longer. Each year, the specific demands on your child shift. Get a little ahead of the curve and anticipate some of these so your child can be prepared to tackle each challenge.
Each school may approach the standard expectations differently. It is important to ask your school for its specific timeline for important grade-related milestones. In general, here are a few things to consider:
9th Grade
Has my child adjusted to the new teachers, subjects, and classroom expectations? Is he or she making transitions smoothly, keeping up with assignments, and faring well on assessments? Getting into the right habits early on will build confidence and set your student up to feel more comfortable asking for help as the need arises. If your child is struggling, pinpoint the specific issues and identify who can help your child directly. If you think your child needs more help than the school can provide, consider working with a tutor who specializes in what your child needs, whether it is a particular subject or more study and organizational skills.
10th Grade
Does my school offer practice PSATs at this grade level? If you have a child who struggles with test-taking, you may want to consider downloading practice tests and setting aside some time for your student to take one or two to get familiar with the format (be sure to time these sessions to get a feel for that important restriction as well).
What are my child’s interests and how can we expand upon them for the future without over-committing? While considering what colleges look for, the balance of work and enjoyment is crucial for your teen, especially in the high school years. If your school has course selection options, what are the best choices for your child? The highest level of a course of study might not always be in your child’s best interest. Your child’s advisor plays a crucial role in helping your child make the best choices, so make sure you and your child get to know that advisor well.
11th Grade
What is the PSAT/SAT/ACT schedule for your school? Depending on the answer, make sure you plan enough time for your student to study and practice how to take these types of tests, especially if you have a student who struggles with assessments or specific content. Consider having your student take one or more of these tests more than once.
Is my student over-committed with extracurricular activities? It is crucial for students to focus on their best academic performance throughout high school, and this year is a pivotal one, with many deadlines and high-stakes assessments. If your student is prone to anxiety (and even if they aren’t), this can be a very stressful year. Work to alleviate whatever pressure you can and give your student some much-needed “down time” whenever possible.
When can we fit in college visits? Find times in your schedule where you can visit campuses and combine it with family events/vacations/obligations whenever possible. It is important to get onto the physical campuses and get a feel for each school your child is interested in, taking in that school’s culture.
12th Grade
What else does my child have to do to get into college and finish out the year successfully? This year is not a year to coast! It is the last push with you as the at-home support system to guide your child through to graduation. Make sure your child is in close contact with guidance counselors and advisors to shore up any areas of concern, take subject tests, study for AP’s, line up potential summer work, etc. Finally, once your child gets into college, they can breathe a little easier (and celebrate that accomplishment!); but, there is still work to be done, maintaining the quality of schoolwork and grades to finish out strong.
Every grade, every year, keep this in mind:
Focus on being a good listener and providing constructive suggestions that can be realistically carried out as your child navigates each year of school and beyond.
You will probably have many more questions as you go, but being proactive and getting the answers to these key questions we’ve explored will help you address the here-and-now, plan for the future, and set your child on the path to success.
Need help navigating school expectations, tackling specific subjects or content areas, or building test-taking/study/organizational skills? Contact RITES today for an educational specialist who can address your child’s specific needs.
