Woman’s Ex Calls Her ‘Selfish’ for Going Out of Town While Daughter, 10, Is Sick

A woman says that her ex is guilting her for taking an overnight trip while her daughter recovers from a cold, and she’s unsure who is in the wrong.

The woman detailed her story on the popular Reddit forum ‘Am I the A——?’, a place where Redditors can go to seek advice about interpersonal dilemmas. In her post, she explained that she purchased tickets to a concert “over six months ago” for a venue that is over five hours away from her home city.

“The ticket and my accommodations are already paid for and non-refundable. I’ve been really excited for this trip since I found out about it,” she added.

The original poster (OP) also explained that she and her ex share joint custody of their 10-year-old daughter. She said that her husband gets their daughter each week from Friday evening to Sunday morning, and so she intended to drop her daughter off at her ex’s house on Friday as usual before leaving for the concert.

The problem? The OP said that her daughter has been “home sick” all week with a dry cough and “slight fever,” adding, “She’s slowly getting better but still not feeling great.”

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The woman’s ex, however, says she is “being selfish” for dropping the child off with him because he could “catch whatever she has.”

“She first started getting sick last weekend while she was at her dad’s, so if he was going to catch it, he would have already,” she continued, adding that he still “insists I should be keeping her at my house until she’s feeling better.”

“I told him I’d be dropping her off tonight after work and he called me selfish b—–,” the OP said (she later added that the exchange was all over text and that they always refrain from arguing in front of their daughter).

The OP additionally said that her ex’s reaction is especially frustrating because she does the bulk of the child-care tasks throughout the year. 

“I have her during the week so I can stay on top of her schooling, homework, extra curricular activities etc. If I’m not on top of it, he can’t be bothered,” she said.

“AITA [am I the a——]?” she asked at the end of her post. 

Reddit users were quick to assure the OP that she was in no way the jerk in this scenario.

“As a former family law attorney, if it’s his turn to take care of her, it’s his turn to take care of her. He doesn’t get to take care of her just when she’s feeling good. It’s not ‘Camp Daddy. It’s called actual parenting, and that is his job,” one person said.

“She got sick while at his house and he had no problem sending her to you and risk you getting infected,” said someone else, adding, “Your ex is just using this as an excuse to get out of childcare for the weekend. NTA [not the a——].”

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Someone else said, “NTA. His time is HIS PARENTING TIME! [He thinks] that he gets to skip parenting duty so he doesn’t get sick? … Absolutely not! He doesn’t get to pick and choose father times.”

“Have fun at your concert. You deserve it,” added another person.