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- Woman says she and her husband planned a 10-day trip for themselves and their 16-year-old daughter, noting that it was “meant to be just the three of us”
- The woman — who detailed her story on a community forum— says that they then found out that her husband’s friend booked the same hotel for the same dates with his own family as a “surprise”
- She now says that her husband doesn’t understand why she’s upset
A woman says she’s looking for some “outside perspective” after her husband accused her of “overreacting” when she found out their family vacation plans had been changed without her approval.
The woman detailed her experience on the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet.com. In her post, she shared that she and her husband had booked a 10-day vacation with their 16-year-old daughter to celebrate the teen finishing her exams.
“It was meant to be just the three of us — a time to relax, unwind and celebrate her finishing such a stressful chapter,” she explained.
However, the woman says that she just found out that her husband’s long-time friend — with whom she’s not “especially close” — booked the same hotel for the same days with his girlfriend and their two kids, one of whom is 5 years old.
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“I had no say in this,” the woman wrote. “My husband told them about our plans, and they just… decided to come. Apparently it was going to be kept a secret and just surprise us when we got to the airport.”
She added: “I wasn’t asked if I was okay with it, and now I’m expected to share my holiday with a group of people I don’t know well, including a young child, which changes the whole dynamic of the trip.”
The woman also shared that she struggles with confidence, “especially around my body and skin,” adding, “Holidays are the one time I let go, go makeup-free, and truly relax — knowing no one knows me and I don’t have to ‘perform’ socially.”
She said she now worries that she will feel “extremely self-conscious and uncomfortable” around a younger woman who she doesn’t know.
“It’s not about jealousy — it’s about not feeling safe to just be myself anymore,” she wrote.
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She continued: “My husband says I’m overreacting and that there’s ‘nothing wrong with my body,’ but he’s totally missing the emotional side of this for me. I feel like my space has been taken away from me, and I’ve lost the freedom I was looking forward to.”
“AIBU [am I being unreasonable] to feel upset about this?” she asked at the end of her post.
Post commenters were firmly on her side, with many saying they would be angry if they were in her shoes.
“YANBU [you are not being unreasonable]. I’d be changing the hotel asap,” wrote one person.
Another person agreed, adding: “YANBU I would really hate that too.”
Other commenters encouraged the OP to give herself permission to do her own thing while on the trip — regardless of whether or not another family is there too.
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“Just do as you please and say hi when you see them. You don’t have to spend all day together,” one person said.
“Honestly I’d be telling my husband straight that I’m not going on this holiday to socialize, won’t be engaging with them beyond general politeness and how very bloody unimpressed I am,” another person wrote.
