What Being Married 3 Times Taught Jill Whelan (Exclusive)

• The Love Boat star Jill Whelan married her husband Jeff Knapple in 2017 after two previous divorces
• The actress, who serves as Princess Cruises’ Celebrations Ambassador, kicked off her Valentine’s Day celebrations at the cruise line’s Love by Britto N.Y.C. popup, which runs through Feb. 14
• Whelan tells PEOPLE she could “spend every moment together” with Knapple and “be totally fine”

Jill Whelan grew up on The Love Boat, and in 2017, she found her real-life forever when she married Jeff Knapple.

“We really get along so well and enjoy each other’s company so much and respect each other so much. And we make each other laugh, so we’re really, really lucky,” Whelan, 58, told PEOPLE while celebrating Valentine’s Day with Princess Cruises’ Love by Britto restaurant at its New York City shoreside popup, which runs through Friday, Feb. 14. “This is not the first marriage for either one of us. It took us a minute to find the right person, but we did eventually. We could spend every moment together and not see another person and be totally fine.”

The actress, who serves as Princess Cruises’ Celebrations Ambassador, had been married twice before and has three kids from previous relationships. Whelan said that going through two divorces taught her to “never settle.”

“And you’re never going to remake somebody,” Whelan continued of the lessons she’s learned. “You better love them exactly the way they are when they come to you. And you’ve got to be yourself when you meet somebody because if they don’t love you for who you are, then it’s a constant game of acting like somebody else. You can’t sustain that. I used to say to people when I was single, I would much rather be single and happy than coupled and lonely.”

The Empty Nesters podcast co-host took that advice of being herself when she began dating Knapple, 68.

“When we started dating after both of our divorces, we both went, ‘You know what? I’m just going to be myself and if they don’t like this self, then that’s fine. No harm, no foul, but that’s not going to be the person for me. It’s either take me at my face value or don’t take me at all,’” Whelan said. “Because at some point the chickens are going to come to roost, and it is going to get sticky and ugly and complicated. It’s a lot easier [to be yourself].”

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Whelan tried to instill the importance of self-love in her children.

“The only way you’re able to truly find that roadmap to what real love for you is going to be is to love yourself first,” she said. “It’s kind of like what they say on an airplane, if the oxygen masks are released, put the mask on yourself first before you’re able to help somebody else. When you love yourself, you’re able to be selfless with somebody else because you’re not needy, you’re not looking for something that you don’t have.”

The Love Boat star admitted she’s “made some mistakes in my life” that led her to question “what kind of roadmap am I leaving my kids” when it comes to love.

“It might’ve been a little bit later than a thought, but I finally feel like they do understand what that roadmap can look like for them,” she said. “They love my husband and he loves them, and it’s the same for his kids. And it’s important that we be ourselves in front of them so that they can see that that’s the best way to be.”

After kicking off her Valentine’s Day festivities in N.Y.C. at Love by Britto, which also appears on the Sun Princess and will be featured on the Star Princess when it debuts this fall, Whelan headed back home to spend Feb. 14 with her husband, as well as her sister and brother-in-law who will be in town. “We travel so much that it’ll actually become nice to stay home and cook together,” Whelan said. “We both love to cook. We usually cook surf and turf, and then we make a dessert together. We actually never go out on Valentine’s Day.”

Whelan believes Love by Britto, with its signature dishes by Chef Rudi Sodamin, bespoke cocktails by mixologist Rob Floyd, artwork by Romero Britto and thoughtful heart-shaped details on the table, delivers a “Valentine’s Day that is like no other” and provides a “very romantic” vibe for anyone looking for that on board. The former teen star and Knapple make a conscious effort to keep the romance alive all year.

“If I’m getting myself a cup of coffee in the morning, I’ll get him his and almost every night he gives me a back rub before we go to sleep, which is phenomenal and I’m incredibly spoiled and I know that,” Whelan said. “But just sitting together on the couch and holding hands, those little things are important. Respect is the best aphrodisiac there is.”