Mom Changes Locks After Adult Son Leaves Her House in Disarray

A mom turned to the Reddit community for advice following a painful family conflict that left her questioning whether she crossed a line by changing the locks on her own house.

The woman explained that the situation involved her adult son, his mental health struggles and a home she said was her “only asset.”

“My adult son (25) was living in my house with his partner for 2 years,” she wrote, explaining that she lived in another city while continuing to pay the mortgage and bills. She added that she had asked him to contribute rent but said “he never did.”

The mom said she eventually asked her son to take over the electricity and internet bills, which he did earlier this year. According to her post, he told her he could not work because “he has anxiety and ADHD and his doctor wanted him to get his medication right.”

She said his partner had occasionally paid board in the first year, but that stopped once the couple covered utilities. “Once they took over the two bills of power and internet I said she didn’t have to anymore,” she explained.

The house also contained two longtime family cats, which her son agreed to care for. “They were happy to look after them as they were family pets,” she wrote, noting the animals were nine years old and part of the family.

Four months before her post, the couple split and her son stayed in the house alone. “I flew down for a weekend to see him, and make sure he was okay,” she said, adding that she checked in with him every few days afterward.

Eventually, her son told her he had started staying with his father due to loneliness. “I asked if he was still ok to look after the house and the animals and he said yes,” she wrote, believing he was still spending time there.

She later learned he had moved out entirely but promised to keep caring for the cats. “Then he started not answering my phone calls,” she said, explaining that her younger son reached out with concerns.

According to her post, she was told the house was trashed and the cats were not being cared for. “My oldest son had stopped answering my calls and had me blocked on everything,” she wrote.

The mom and her partner drove 16 hours to retrieve the pets, only to find the home unsecured. “When we arrived at my house the front door was unlocked, the back door was wide open, and there was litter and clothes everywhere,” she said.

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Feeling devastated, she decided to change the locks. “It was so upsetting for me because it’s my only asset,” she wrote, adding that she had been “living on the bare bones” to support her children.

Her son later asked for his computer and desk to be retrieved through his brother. “He obviously doesn’t want my help,” she concluded, asking Reddit, “Am I the asshole?”

Commenters overwhelmingly sided with her, reassuring her that she acted reasonably. One wrote, “Good for you for changing the locks,” while another said her actions and concerns were “totally reasonable.”